I Bruise Easily
by DSISandraPullman39
Summary: Just know that you have stolen my heart and handle it with care because it won't take much for it to shatter into a million pieces and if that were to happen at your hands I know it would never recover.


**I Bruise Easily **

**Disclaimer:-** Don't own them just borrowing!

**Episode:- **None

**Pairing:-** Jean/James

**Rating:- **T

**Achieve:- ** ** . /group/lewisffarchive/**

**Summary:- **. Just know that you have stolen my heart and handle it with care because it won't take much for it to shatter into a million pieces and if that were to happen at your hands I know it would never recover.

**Author's Note:- **Lyrics from "I bruise easily" by Natasha Bedingfield

_My skin is like a map of where my heart has been_

_And I can't hide the marks but it's not a negative thing_

I wonder if you have any idea how much it means to me to have you here? When you run tour fingers over my cheek and tell me how much you want me I wonder if you know the scars left behind from the last time I trusted someone with this part of me? When you kiss me do you taste the bitterness that used to linger there at his betrayal? As you slowly seduce me with words that tangle around my soul and touches that ignite fires in me long ago extinguished do you know the wounds you risk opening? Do you see the vulnerability? Do you see the hesitation? To you taste the need? Do you have any idea how much I'm entrusting to you?

_So I let my guard down, drop my defences down by my clothes _

_I'm learning to fall with no safety net to cushion the blow._

The part of me still tentative, still scared is banished by your touch, your kiss, the tender adoration in the way you peel away my clothes and my concerned in the gentlest of ways. I know the chance I'm taking, the leap of faith, the trust I'm placing on what I know of you and yet I'm doing it anyway. Your lips heal those wounded, frightened parts of me that had made me defensive, reluctant to allow myself this freedom. You make me want to try, to give up, to take a risk and deal with the consequences come what may. As you make love to me I'm falling, tumbling toward the ground like a swallow in a low diver trusting you to catch me before I hit the ground because in allowing this to happen I've left myself with nowhere to hide if my faith in you is unfounded.

_I found your finger prints on a glass of wine_

_Do you know you're leaving them all over this heart of mine too?_

A winter's morning, a goodbye kiss full of promises and the screen of delightful devastation left behind by our evening of passion. The scent of you still hangs heavy in the air, the glass you held before your hands were occupied with other things still bares your fingerprints and the cushions on the sofa still scattered bring a flush to my cheeks at the memory of what we did. A scene so full of evidence of what we've done, how things have changed that it makes me wonder if you know how much you've changed me too? Do you know how much last night has meant to me? Do you know what that you've started a new map of love and potential heart break on the already well-worn canvas of my heart?

_But if I never take this leap of faith I'll never know_

_So I'm learning to fall with no safety net to cushion the blow_

A knock at the door and you're back your whispered apologies as you tell me you couldn't just go, you still need to be here with me sending me hurtling through the air again swooping and diving as I tell you I'm glad you came back and I need you too. I know I'm handing you my heart on a plate and taking the chance that you will guard it better than it has been guarded in the past but I can't help myself. For you I'll take the chance and pray my faith in you is well place. For you no risk is too big, no jump too frightening, no potential disaster too catastrophic.

_I bruise easily so be gentle when you handle me_

_There's a mark you leave like a love heart carved on a tree._

"Can this ever be real? Can it ever be more than a stolen night and an echo of what we might have been to each other in another time and a different place?" Your arms feel so right around me as you smile and I still don't think you know what you've done, how you made me want you, need you, long for this to be more than it seems right now.

"It can be whatever you want it to be." Do you know how that simple statement has made my stomach knot and my heart race? Have you any idea the imprint you've made the faith in love that you are slowly rebuilding in me? Maybe more importantly have you any idea how quickly you can shatter that faith?

_Anyone who can touch you can hurt you or heal you_

_Anyone who can reach you can love you or leave you_

_So be gentle…_

Will this be the way back from the pain and self-doubt that has been my heart's home for so long now? Will it be the antidote to the loneliness and unhappiness? With a single touch you make me feel like anything is possible, with the gentlest of kisses you put a soothing balm on another scar and I feel like through this I may find a way back, A way back to being someone who trusts, who loves without fear and gives myself to someone else completely. It's a hope that I'll cling to and try to ignore the other possibilities. If you out not to be worthy of my trust the alternative is too horrible to dwell on. Just know that you have stolen my heart and handle it with care because it won't take much for it to shatter into a million pieces and if that were to happen at your hands I know it would never recover.


End file.
